Learning how to live : A Misfit’s Guide

By: Jenn Percy Misfit Acres NS

Britney Spears had it right when she sang the song “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman.” Take that same idea and apply it to the life of an adult. At 18, we think the world owes us something simply because we exist. Looking back, it’s probably because we still viewed life through the eyes of a child, lacking the experience of adulthood. It’s something only time and life can teach you—realizing where your parents' journey ends and yours begins. Many of us are desperate to do it better than our parents, not just for ourselves but to prove some strange point.

Of course, our parents want us to do better than them. It’s a point of view that only a parent can fully comprehend. In our 20s, we’re busy with higher education and exploring the liberties that come with age. Some may be settling down, while others refuse to release their grasp on freedom, holding onto childlike abandon and similar mindsets. When you hit 30, families, careers, and set mindsets become more prevalent. You might even start feeling like an adult instead of a fraud, a child playing pretend in the big, real world. It’s strange to think, even weirder to feel a little wiser.

In your 30s, you somehow learn to unlearn and truly understand life, reaching a level that your 18-year-old self had the audacity to dream but lacked the brains or experience to back it up. If you’re lucky, you become a thinker and a feeler, figuring it out faster. Becoming self-aware is necessary for reflection, challenging who you are and why. Understand your needs, stop gaslighting yourself, and be your biggest support and cheerleader. The adult approach is like an endless "fake it until you make it" internal battlefield. You will believe the narrative someday, but until then, it may feel a bit weird. You got this.

For me, I found the ability to slow down and the confidence to make waves for the greater good. I dedicated time to regular exercise for my mental health and journaled to calm racing thoughts, avoiding impulsive belief systems. Just because our parents did things a certain way doesn’t mean it’s our life’s burden to carry, especially when those theories don’t serve our higher selves.

I began thinking about my health and wellness, realizing how often I silenced myself for others. I was too considerate of others' experiences, neglecting my own needs…